Monday, September 22, 2014

Spokane news room channel 5

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Spokane news room channel 5. Elder Johnson here as your host. Our first topic to discuss today is the new reports just in about the species arachnias homlessnias otherwise known as the hobo spider. Local Spokaneze bugologists have discussed changing the name of the deathly poisenous spider common in the northwest due to the fact that 90 percent of all hobo spiders in the state of Washington are no longer homeless. They have all found residency in one centralized location located at 2707 E 32nd ave #2 at a place known as the Moran Prairie Elder's Apartment. Whether or not the Moran Prairie Elders are alive is still unknown. Almost every single night we come in from working we kill another hobo spider. 

Plus I had an great experience with one the other day... Every morning I wake up and immediately put my hoodie on and start working out. A few mornings ago I woke up but my jacket wasn't in its usual place by my bed so I went with out it for a while. Eventually I found my jacket lying on the ground next to my desk. I put it on and began to work out. After about 15 minutes I had to go to the bathroom. As I walked in I glanced over to the mirror and saw that something was on my sleeve. I took a closer look and realized it was... you guessed it arachnias homlessnias (i made that scientific name up if you couldn't already tell) A HOBO SPIDER! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I quickly but calmly pulled my sleeve so that I would have a better shot at flicking it off. I flicked it but i didn't see where it went. I searched all over the floor. My bare feet started to tingle anticipating a bite. I looked and looked all over the floor but I couldn't find it. Eventually I stood up again and through the mirror saw that it was still on my sleeve!!!!!!!!!! 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So I pulled my sleeve over again. This time I flicked it as hard as I could. THE SAME THING HAPPENED. I didn't see where the spider went. I couldn't see him on the floor. I checked my sleeve and he was there either. I checked the floor again. No. I checked my sleeve again. Couldn't find him. This happened I don't know how many times. All of this while I really needed to use that bathroom but one thing was for sure. I was not sitting on the toilet till this threat to humanity was disposed of! After about ten minutes I finally found the spider and smashed him hard! My body was tingling for basically the rest of the day. I'm a wimp.

Anyway transfer calls were yesterday. And they were not what we were expecting. I will be leaving the Moran Prairie Ward and going to Spokane Valley to the Boutish ward to be with Elder Folu. The sad thing is that Elder Marsh will also be leaving. He will be going up to Colville to be a Zone Leader. This leaves our area in sticky situation because we have 2 new Elders coming in that don't know the Elders or the people that we are working with. We have three people on date for baptism and likely 2 more after next appointment with them. It will work out though. The Lord has the plan for us as missionaries and our investigators. I am really sad to leave Moran Prairie though. I love this place! I love the investigators! It will be really hard to put them into the hands of other Elders. I love the ward. I am really close to a lot of the members especially Brother Duer the Ward Mission Leader. I feel sorry for all of you for not being able to know "Lil Jonny". I love the streets of my area. I have ridden my bike down every single street. I know the addresses of almost every single apartment complex in my area off the top of my head. I am also going to miss Elder Marsh a lot! We had a lot of good times with him! I learned a ton about missionary work too. It was really cool because we are super different in personality and teaching style but we made it work and our differences complimented each other. 

But I have also heard some really great things about Elder Folu. He is a professional Rugby player back in New Zealand. It will be really weird to have to get to know a new ward and new area. But it will be an adventure!
Love you guts! (Didn't mean to type that but now that I did I kind of like it)

-Elder (Andre) Johnson

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